If you need a laugh...

I was going over paper guidelines I have to follow for a class, when I came across these instructions:

A former colleague of mine, David Allen Black, offered these reminders for papers:

• Always avoid alliteration.
• Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
• Avoid clichés like the plague.
• Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
• It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
• Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
• Foreign words and phrases are hardly apropos.
• Never generalize.
• Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
• Don't be redundant or use more words than necessary: it's highly superfluous.
• Be more or less specific.
• One-word sentences? Eliminate.
• The passive voice is to be avoided.
• Even if a metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
• Who needs rhetorical questions?
• Employ the vernacular.
• Analogies are like feathers on a snake.
• Contractions aren't proper.
• Eliminate quotations: as Emerson once said, "I have quotations."
• Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.